Retro & Classic & Vintage Video Collections (19xx-1999)

Discussion in 'Retro Sex / Vintage Sex' started by bujol, Mar 24, 2022.

  1. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    Don't Get Them Wet

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    Year: 1987
    Country: USA
    Genre: Classic
    Quality: DVDRip
    Language: Original

    Director: Vinni Rossi
    Studio: Caballero Video

    Starring: Breezy Lane, Domino, Paula Winters, Viper, Bill Margold, Jerry Butler, Jonathon Lee, Mike Horner
    Description: This is a trip you'll never forget. A science-fiction fantasy that dares to explore the heights and depths of man's sex hungry desires. Put yourself in the hero's place, in a sex-aid store. Looking for a sexy gift for his roommates birthday, the storekeeper suggest the ultimate in a high-tech sex toy. A "doll" that talks, f_ks, and won't become pregnant. But there's a warning, never get her wet, and don't let her eat after midnight. But who can heed such a warning when the "doll" is so beautiful, the sex is so great, and when a climax makes her juicy wet?
    And how can one say no when she wants to literally devour every part of you-even after midnight? The result of these happenings is more than any man can wish for. From Beta, the original "doll" comes forth Delta and Gamma, and these three insatiable sex-hungry beauties go on a sexual rampage that will leave you panting with delight. Can they be controlled? Will their seducing prowess add to their population? See the surprising, arousing climax to this fantastic erotic fantasy for the answers. You'll be amazed!

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    File Size: ~900MB
    Resolution: 640x480
    Duration: 77 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    Dont Get Them Wet.mp4 - 922.4 MB
     
  2. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    Bocca Bianca, Bocca Nera

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    Alternative Title:
    White Mouth, Black Mouth

    Year: 1986
    Country: Italy
    Genre: Classic
    Quality: VHSRip
    Language: Original

    Director: Renato Polselli (as Hard Sacc), Arduino Sacco
    Studio: Film Films

    Starring: Marina Hedman, Ajita Wilson, Gabriel Pontello, Mary Ramunno
    Description: The story is about a ship cruising in the Mediterranean and two girls competing for one man

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    File Size: ~700MB
    Resolution: 688x464
    Duration: 68 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    Bocca Bianca Bocca Nera.mp4 - 676.2 MB
     
  3. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    Naughty Angels

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    Year: 1985
    Country: USA
    Genre: Classic
    Quality: VHSRip
    Language: Original

    Director: Leonard Kirtman (as Leon Gucci)
    Studio: VCA

    Starring: Beverly Bliss, Crystal Breeze, Ebony Clark, Don Fernando, Desiree Lane, Francois Papillon, Karen Summer, Shone Taylor
    Description: This is a story about women who want to make more money, whether it's getting a raise or another way. She how this unfolds as these women all work together and how they try to get what they want. Do you think they get more money? They certainly get more cock and pussy. A classic tale of sex and betrayal

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    File Size: ~1200MB
    Resolution: 720x480
    Duration: 75 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    Naughty Angels.mp4 - 1.1 GB
     
  4. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    Safari

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    Year: 1983
    Country: France
    Genre: Classic, Adventure, Thriller
    Quality: DVDRip
    Language: Original

    Director: Jean Luret
    Studio: Cinemadis

    Starring: Andre Chazel, Brigitte Lahaie, Lise Lebon, Cathy Martin, Piotr Stanislas, Pascale Vital, Laura May
    Description: It's the hard version of Baisers exotiques (1981)

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    File Size: ~650MB
    Resolution: 640x480
    Duration: 73 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    Safari.mp4 - 626.3 MB
     
  5. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    Sweet Wet Lips

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    Year: 1974
    Country: USA
    Genre: Classic
    Quality: DVDRip
    Language: Original

    Director: Marc Peters
    Studio: Pipeline Video Company

    Starring: Andrea True, Jamie Gillis, Jennifer Jordan, Marc Stevens, Eric Edwards, Nancy Dare, Alan Marlow, Micki Manos, Angel Barrett
    Description: A randy couple has stopped on the side of the road for a bit of afternoon delight. While they're gettin' it on, they tell each other about porn films they've seen recently starring the lovely Andrea True. Interspersed with the brief glimpses of this couples roadside tryst are scenes from the movies they're discussing. Soon those sweet wet lips will be salty-stained and closed tight, holding back a torrent of freshly unloaded cum!

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    File Size: ~1000MB
    Resolution: 640x480
    Duration: 61 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    Sweet Wet Lips.mp4 - 996.3 MB
     
  6. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    Brigade anti-sodomisees

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    Year: 1983
    Country: France
    Genre: Classic
    Quality: VHSRip
    Language: Original

    Director: Gilbert Roussel (as James H. Lewis)

    Starring: Agnes Ardant, Jacky Arnal, Andre Kay, Carole Pierac, Silvio Rey
    Description: Three of the richest and most beautiful women in Europe are kidnapped, and secret agent James Band 069 is called in to rescue them. He discovers that they are prisoners of a mad scientist who gives them a serum that turns them into crazed, insatiable sex maniacs

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    File Size: ~800MB
    Resolution: 640x480
    Duration: 61 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    Brigade anti sodomisees.mp4 - 786.8 MB
     
  7. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    Roommates (Better Quality)

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    Year: 1980
    Country: USA
    Genre: Classic
    Quality: LDRip
    Language: Original

    Director: Chuck Vincent
    Studio: Distribpix, Video-X-Pix

    Starring: Samantha Fox, Veronica Hart, Kelly Nichols, Merle Michaels, Gloria Leonard, Jamie Gillis, Bobby Astyr, Jack Wrangler, Ron Hudd, Jerry Butler, Ashley Moore, Roy Stuart, Ron Jeremy, Phil Smith, Frederic Foster, Peter Andrews , Patricia Dale, Kurt Mann, Adam DeHaven, John Christopher, Henry Pachard
    Description:
    ---Roommates is ... a totally unique film about three women who lives become entwined as they share a NY apartment. A landmark film, Roommates take us inside these women's minds, hearts, and passions.
    ---Kip Noll and Lee Marlin decide to share an apartment together when they go to college, but most roommates never get this close! The unpacking stops when always horny Lee gets a load of Kip's claim to fame and Kip gets a look at Lee's assets! The way they go at it on the living room floor, there'll be no need for two beds in this apartment

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    File Size: ~1400MB
    Resolution: 720x480
    Duration: 89 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    Roommates.mp4 - 1.4 GB
     
  8. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    Chattes gourmandes des lyceennes

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    Alternative Title:
    Les Chattes gourmandes des collegiennes

    Year: 1983
    Country: France
    Genre: Classic
    Quality: VHSRip
    Language: Original

    Director: Gilbert Roussel (as J. H. Lewis)
    Studio: Les Films du Rigoustin, Audifilm, Socai Films

    Starring: Liliane Gray, Nadine Proutnal, Nathalie Idoux, Andre Kay, Enzo Coletta

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    File Size: ~1000MB
    Resolution: 640x480
    Duration: 59 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    Chattes gourmandes des lyceennes.mp4 - 997.0 MB
     
  9. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    Carmela... une si jolie petite fille

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    Year: 1981
    Country: France
    Genre: Classic
    Quality: VHSRip
    Language: Original

    Director: Alain Payet (as John Love)
    Studio: Travelling, O.T.P., Carrere Video

    Starring: Carla, Cathy Menard, Claudie, Marianne Aubert, Marie-Claude Moreau, Alain Payet, Carmelo Petix, Dominique Aveline, Guy Royer, Eric Saville, Christian Mazagran
    Description: The film takes place in a peculiar factory. An off screen voice gives a brief portrait of the characters: the former boss who has chosen to become the factory sweeper (Alain Payet himself), Armand (Dominique Aveline) who used to be the accountant but made a 'mistake' and chose to work in the workshop instead. Two male employees (Guy Royer, Eric Saville and Christian Mazagran) who, although having good degrees, chose to work there. Francoise was the former boss's lover and thus, faithful to her ideal, is now the new boss's lover. Three girls who used to work in a now-closed whorehouse work there too and plan to have fun with the male staff. A bit later on we will be introduced to a fourth female employee (Marianne Aubert).
    The first hot scene is a lesbian one between Cathy Menard and Marie-Claude Moreau by the lockers. Then the boss calls for Francoise because something is wrong (we don't know what) and punishes her by introducing his penis in her mouth. A real nice face she has, but she does not really look comfortable in front of the camera. Marianne Aubert joins in till he comes in one of the two mouths, but the camera stubbornly remains on his face...
    The next scene features Marianne Aubert with a male member of the staff (Eric Saville). Then Guy Royer has it off with Marianne Aubert and they are joined by Dominique Aveline. A bit later Cathy Menard joins in for a foursome.
    The boss brings in the platinum blonde employee for a talk about a pay rise which turns to sex and the girl leaves with a better job.
    The next scene features Marianne Aubert with another member of the male staff (Christian Mazagran).
    Eventually the boss gathers his employees (except the three former whores) and declares he will hand the factory over to them. They all celebrate it with an orgy. Notice how Francoise has trouble getting involved although Carmelo Petix and Marie-Claude Moreau do their best to bring her back to here and now. Anyway if Francoise didn't, Marie-Claude sure enjoyed the moment!

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    File Size: ~1450MB
    Resolution: 640x480
    Duration: 84 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    Carmela une si jolie petite fille.mp4 - 1.4 GB
     
  10. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    Hot Dreams (Better Quality)

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    Year: 1983
    Country: USA
    Genre: Classic
    Quality: DVDRip
    Language: English
    Subtitles: Danish, Finnish, French, Dutch, Norwegian, Swedish, German

    Director: Shaun Costello (as Warren Evans)
    Studio: Evansfilm, Caballero Home Video

    Starring: Sharon Mitchell, Michael Bruce, Tiffany Clark, Jamie Gillis, Marlene Willoughby, Ashley Moore, Sharon Kane, Anna Ventura, Joanna Storm, Robin Sane, Jinger Jaye, Kenny Dee, Alan Adrian, John Christopher, Gordon G. Duvall, Dave Ruby, George Payne, Joe Santini
    Description:
    ---As the passion in her marriage fades, Lisa Curtis (Sharon Mitchell) is besieged by uncontrollable sexual fantasies. From her morning shower to formal dinner parties, Lisa's daily grind sizzles with her own torrid visions. While dinner guests down their main course, Lisa becomes the dessert in a gourmet orgy. An afternoon massage at the health spa turns into the hottest sex scene ever filmed.
    ---Dreams may cum true! When the days are hot, and the nights are steamy, there's only one way to cool yourself down, a nice hot lady between your legs!
    ---Sharon Mitchell is married to Michael Bruce and has all kinds of flashes to sexual fantasies constantly ruining her train-of-reality thought

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    File Size: ~1500MB
    Resolution: 720x480
    Duration: 84 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    Hot Dreams.mp4 - 1.5 GB
    Subtitles:
     
  11. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    The Sensuous Detective

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    Year: 1980
    Country: USA
    Genre: Classic, Comedy
    Quality: DVDRip
    Language: Original

    Director: M.M. Dimitri

    Starring: Valerie Darlyn, Lynn Lucas, Kirdy Stevens, Sharon Kane, Don Fernando, Jamie Gillis, Richard Pacheco, Johnny Harden, John Leslie, Maria Tortuga, Sue Nero, Dorothy LeMay, Jessie St. James, John Seeman, Jeff Scott, Serena, Liza Dwyer, Jesse Adams, Laurien Dominique, Lee LeMay
    Description: Opens With A Jamie Gillis Rough Pseudo Fuck! You won't want to miss the action

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    File Size: ~1350MB
    Resolution: 640x480
    Duration: 85 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    The Sensuous Detective.mp4 - 1.3 GB
     
  12. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    Tinseltown (FullHDRip)

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    Alternative Title:
    Mogli golose

    Year: 1980
    Country: USA
    Genre: Classic, Comedy
    Quality: BDRip
    Language: English, English (Commentaries)
    Subtitles: English

    Director: Carter Stevens
    Studio: Carter Stevens Studios, Vinegar Syndrome

    Starring: Ashley Brooks, Danielle Raye, Tawny Pearl, Eric Edwards, Rhonda Jo Petty, Randy West, Pat Manning, Mike Ranger, Jennifer West, David Morris, Jake Teague, William Margold
    Description:
    ---Mary Jo Harmon is a small town country girl who dreams of moving to Hollywood to pursue her ambition of becoming a famous movie star. But no sooner than arriving, her fantasies of glitz and glamour begin to get chipped away, as she learns that all of the things she's heard about LA's sleazy casting couches, lecherous producers, and perverted parties are...absolutely true! Will Mary Jo ever be able to fulfill her dream, as the world around her turns into an ever greater orgy of disappointment?
    ---Hollywood. Scores of aspiring actresses have flocked here in search of their big break. They make easy prey for a couple of con men in search of the ultimate score. All that glitters may or may not be all gold. In Tinseltown you have to be careful who you trust

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    File Size: ~4750MB
    Resolution: 1920x1080
    Duration: 85 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    Tinseltown.mp4 - 4.7 GB
    Subtitles:
     
  13. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    La nipote (Hard Version)

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    Year: 1974
    Country: Italy
    Genre: Classic, Comedy
    Quality: TVRip
    Language: Original

    Director: Nello Rossati
    Studio: Lido, Rewind Film

    Starring: Francesca Muzio, Daniele Vargas, Annie Carol Edel, George Ardisson, Ezio Marano, Roberto Proietti, Otello Cazzola, Susy Kaster, Carla Mancini, Orchidea de Santis
    Description:
    ---Veneto in the year 1958. Wealthy engineer Luigi Favaretto (Vargas) arrives at his summer retreat to spend a quiet holiday with his dimwitted son Antonio (Roberto Proietti), second wife Zoraide (Annie Carol Edel) who is a former stripper, their voluptuous housemaid Doris (Orchidea De Santis), and Piero (George Ardisson), his friend but also Zoraide's secret lover. However, everything changes when Adele (Muzio), Zoraide's niece comes to stay with them following her mother's demise
    ---After her mother's death, Francine at shy young woman goes to her uncle Michel's summer villa. He is almost impotent and although living with Zoe, a former stripper, prefers chasing Doris, the maid. Antoine a young virgin man and Michel's son, comes to the villa and quickly learns the ways of sex with Francine who replaces the maid who has been sacked. Meanwhile, Zoe has some fun with Pierre, a friend of the family. Michel dies of a heartstroke between Francine's arms, who is wearing Zoe's stripper clothes. Both Michel's burial and Francine's wedding with Antoine are celebrated on the same day. On the very wedding lunch, Francine is already busy playing footsy with another man.

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    File Size: ~1100MB
    Resolution: 704x400
    Duration: 91 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    La nipote.mp4 - 1.1 GB
     
  14. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    The World Of Henry Paris

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    Year: 1981
    Country: USA
    Genre: Classic, Compilation
    Quality: VHSRip
    Language: Original

    Director: Radley Metzger (as Henry Paris)
    Studio: Audubon Films, VCA Pictures

    Starring: Bobby Astyr, Barbara Bourbon, Eric Edwards, Jamie Gillis, Terri Hall, Annette Haven, C.J. Laing, Gloria Leonard, Sharon Mitchell, Darby Lloyd Rains, Georgina Spelvin, Mary Stuart
    Description: The World of Henry Paris is a 1981 American compilation film of the 1970's erotic films directed by Radley Metzger, working under the alias name of Henry Paris. This film presents highlights from many of his 1970's erotic films which included Score (1974), The Private Afternoons of Pamela Mann (1974), Naked Came The Stranger (1975), The Image (1975), The Opening of Misty Beethoven (1976), Barbara Broadcast (1977), Marashino Cherry (1978) and The Tale of Tiffany Lust (1979). The Henry Paris films were released during the Golden Age of Porn (inaugurated by the 1969 release of Andy Warhol's Blue Movie) and the phenomenon of "porno chic" in the United States, in which adult erotic films were just beginning to be widely released, publicly discussed by celebrities and taken seriously by film critics. According to one film reviewer, Metzger's films, including those made during the Golden Age of Porn (1969-1984), are noted for their "lavish design, witty screenplays, and a penchant for the unusual camera angle". Another reviewer noted that his films were "highly artistic, often cerebral and often featured gorgeous cinematography". Film and audio works by Metzger have been added to the permanent collection of the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) in New York City. FOR TRIVIA FANS: One of the airline passengers in the Opening of Misty Beethoven clip might look familiar. It is Mark Margolis (his first feature film part) who much later in life became somewhat famous as Hector Salamanca in Breaking Bad

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    File Size: ~1050MB
    Resolution: 640x480
    Duration: 113 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    The World Of Henry Paris.mp4 - 1.0 GB
     
  15. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    Prisoner Of Paradise (FullHDRip)

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    Year: 1980
    Country: USA
    Genre: Classic, Adventure, Drama, War
    Quality: BDRip
    Language: Original

    Director: Bob Chinn, Gail Palmer
    Studio: Vinegar Syndrome, Caribbean Films

    Starring: John Holmes, Seka, Sue Carol, Jade Wong, Nikki Anderson, Brenda Vargo, Elmo Lavino, Mai Lin, Gail Palmer
    Description:
    ---In Bob Chinn's big budget mix of X rated war epic and Nazisploitation, John Holmes stars as an American G.I. who gets marooned on a tropical island after his ship is bombed. There he discovers a small Nazi outpost which has kidnapped a beautiful American nurse. Determined to save her, he slowly begins to infiltrate the Nazi compound.
    ---During World War 2 in a south pacific island near the Philippines, two American army nurses, Carol and Gloria, are being held captive in a Nazi camp. The base is ran by Hans von Shlemel and his two assistants, Ilsa and Greta. The Japanese also help by supplying the camp with the Japanese female guard Suke. The American Joe Murray tries in vain to break in and rescue the nurses. Hans von Shlemel punishes Joe by having him servicing Greta sexually and getting abused by Ilsa. Alas, this makes Suke lust for Joe and he uses that to seduce her and fire his way out with the nurses.

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    File Size: ~3500MB
    Resolution: 1920x1080
    Duration: 79 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    Prisoner Of Paradise.mp4 - 3.4 GB
     
  16. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    Ein Lasterhafter Sommer

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    Alternative Titles:
    A Debauched Summer
    Hot Summer Love in Ibiza
    Caliente Amor de Verano

    Year: 1981
    Country: Switzerland / Spain
    Genre: Classic, Romance
    Quality: VHSRip
    Language: German
    Subtitles: English

    Director: Rolf Juschi
    Studio: Diamant, ABC DVD, Elite Films, Producciones Cinematograficas Balcazar

    Starring: Astrid Bone, Carole Pierac, Francisca Navarro, Isabelle Brell, Nicole Segaud, Silvia Darney, Alban Ceray, Gabriel Pontello, Dany Berger, Jaime Bascu
    Description: The family happiness of bank director Enrique (Alban Ceray) is severely disturbed when he sees his wife Alba(Helene Shirley) having sex with his brother Fernando (Gabriel Pontello). A family vacation together in a villa in Andalusia, in which also daughter Elvira (Isabelle Brel) and her fiance Christobal participate, should restore peace. There, the heat of the weather also transfers to the tourists and so then pretty much everyone can try it out with everyone

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    File Size: ~1350MB
    Resolution: 704x432
    Duration: 81 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    Ein Lasterhafter Sommer.mp4 - 1.3 GB
     
  17. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    Le tre porcelline

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    Alternative Titles:
    Erotic Dreams
    Babette aime ses quequettes

    Year: 1994
    Country: Italy
    Genre: Classic
    Quality: VHSRip
    Language: Italian

    Director: Franco Lo Cascio (as Luca Damiano)

    Starring: Agnes, Babette, Carol Nash, Karin Schubert, Philippe Soine, Richard Langin, Yves Baillat

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    File Size: ~1200MB
    Resolution: 640x470
    Duration: 80 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    Le tre porcelline.mp4 - 1.2 GB
     
  18. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    L'Amour aux sports d'hiver

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    Alternative Title:
    Marilyn - Wild und unersattlich
    White Heat
    Alice: Rent a Girl

    Year: 1981
    Country: France / Switzerland
    Genre: Classic
    Quality: DVDRip
    Language: German

    Director: Michel Lemoine (as Michel Blanc)
    Studio: Albatros Films, Les Films Michel Lemoine, Yvofilm AG

    Starring: Olinka Hardiman, Gabriel Pontello, Mika Barthel, Dany Berger, Marie-Claude, Martina Alberti
    Description: White Heat is an erotic romp through snow covered mountains, and one of the most exciting and beautiful adult films ever made! The situation is simple enough-a group of friends has decided to spend a weekend at a ski lodge, but what a group of friends! There are three men and three women along with a most amazing maid. All the women are beautiful of course, but the one who'll take your breath away is the Marilyn Monroe look alike, the nymphet find of the 80's, Olinka. So, its beyond hot, its White Heat!

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    File Size: ~1250MB
    Resolution: 700x468
    Duration: 102 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    LAmour aux sports dhiver.mp4 - 1.2 GB
     
  19. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    World's Biggest Tits 2

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    Year: 1980's-90's
    Country: USA
    Genre: Classic, Compilation, Big Tits
    Quality: DVDRip
    Language: Original

    Studio: Big Top Digital

    Starring: Karen, Mel, Rochelle, Stacey Owen, Virginia
    Description: Want to see the biggest tits of the 80's and 90's all on one disc? All of your favorites from the Breast Of Britain series and a Bosom XXX come together to create The World's Biggest Tits 2. A must have for all serious collectors starring Virginia, Karen, Rochelle, Mel, Stacey Owen and many more! Catch all the action you crave!

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    File Size: ~1950MB
    Resolution: 640x480
    Duration: 124 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    Worlds Biggest Tits 2.mp4 - 1.9 GB
     
  20. bujol

    bujol Active Member Level 2

    Vintage Full Movies Collection (19xx - 1995)

    School For Sex

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    Year: 1972
    Country: USA
    Genre: Classic
    Quality: DVDRip
    Language: Original

    Director: Ann
    Studio: Something Weird Video

    Starring: Angel Bowes, Heather Starr (as Cherie Kent), Devon Mayer, Fifi LaStrange, Marsha Bishop, Stephany Sarver (as Mona Montigue), Jim Mayer
    Description: Porno Pictures Incorporated is holding their annual "World Famous Sex Education Course." Miss Prude (who looks disturbingly like Hillary Clinton) stumbles over her dialogue and keeps looking off-camera. She lectures a group who want to be porn stars. The unwashed cast sit naked on folding chairs, next to a dirty mattress. One girl raises her hand. "I lost my virginity when I was nine. What will this class teach me?" Much more than how to screw, says Miss Prude. "We'll teach you how to become an erogenous sex symbol."
    Mind-warping lessons begin on how to apply lip gloss, perfume and the art of underwear removal. The camera keeps cutting to the dazed expressions on the students' faces.
    "Posing" is next. A bored-looking starlet gyrates on top of Miss Prude's desk. (The hairy crotch close-ups are frightening.) Two out-of-shape volunteers oil each other down, then laughably engage in the most inept lesbian scene I've ever witnessed.
    What's next? Would you believe lessons in "Walking", "Sitting" and "Leg Crossing?" (How about a lesson on how to shave your legs and apply soap and water?) Finally the class learns how to "stimulate the male". A young couple demonstrate oral sex and get so carried away Miss Prude has to smack them on the ass with her pointer. ("We must be adults!") He gives her the high, hard one anyway. (The dubbed-in wheezing on the soundtrack sounds like someone having an asthma attack!)
    Next up is an all-important lesson on "Facial Expressions" (!) We get a shot of the whole class as the teacher shouts out, ""Love! Hate! Fear!" (Their expressions remain the same: vacant!)
    After that the only thing left is "Intercourse." A fat chick, with a belly like a kettle drum, makes it with a drugged-looking ape. (This guy's legs are so hairy, it looks like he's wearing pants!) His meatloaf is immense and she practically needs a shoehorn to stuff it in her. They try to make love but his dick's got stagefright. (If this joker wants to be a porn star, he should consider another line of work.) She valiantly tries to fellate him, but he's null and void.
    So they fake it. Endlessly. (I left the room and made a sandwich. When I got back he was still limp as a noodle.) Mercifully, he gets "wood" and gives her a half-hearted bang (to dubbed-in snoring!) The class applauds and the Joyboy staggers away like a drunk. Dr. Samuel Smutlover makes an appearance. He's casting his next epic and needs an actress. He samples all the women but nobody can turn him on. The teacher lets down her hair. After a quick poke, Miss Prude gets the part. Class dismissed.

    [​IMG]

    File Size: ~900MB
    Resolution: 640x480
    Duration: 69 min
    Format: mp4

    Download Link(s):
    School For Sex.mp4 - 902.3 MB
     
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